I’m sick.  Pretty darn sick.  Should have gotten to  the doctors, sick.

Yes – probably my fault, I thought I had kicked this cold/flu to the curb yesterday so I started taking all my immunosuppressants again last night.  Hindsight tells me — not such a good idea.  I am running a fever – which is very very bad.  It generally means secondary infection – which I can’t fight off.  So what am I doing at home alone?  A very good question.  It seems I have gone back to my old ways of playing hard bitch – which isn’t going to get be far.  So, I guess this is the true indication of how much shit I am in, taking all this medication can make even a cold grow teeth to bite me in the arse.

Other than that – my meeting regarding Crohns and UC got put back to next week – a good thing considering I look like I have crawled out of hell right now… The raincheck wasn’t even my doing – so I don’t even look bad.  I guess sometimes things like this are meant to happen.  I am still looking forward to the meeting – I am hoping that it opens doors for me as both a Crohns sufferer and a motivated and ambitious marketer.  I feel like I am ready to be more than what I am at the moment. Sick or not, I am still the same person and I have the same dedication to my peers, my work and my profession as I did 12 months ago.  I think even more so now – its odd.  I really did need this holiday to start putting things in prospective.  I needed it for a lot of reasons.

I made a big decision on Boxing Day – that there will be no New Years resolutions for me this year.  You can change your life at anytime of year – it doesn’t need to start on the 1/1 . That’s not the point though – I mean the first day of the year is always good to set goals – you should just no limit yourself to setting them or starting them on that day.  There are plenty of good days to make a change during the year, 365 in fact – the most important thing is that you are ready to accept it – change that is.  So, no resolutions for me.  I am making one commitment that this year I will make a difference. I will make a difference in my field and in the businesses of my clients and I will make a difference in the lives of the people who have chronic illness.  I will start to change the way its perceived and speak out against the doctors and medical practitioners who say that “it can’t be something serious”.  It can be – I am living proof of that.  I will push to make a difference in the lives of people who have Crohns and Colitis – even if thats just helping the people who read this – although I am hoping to achieve more than that in the year to come.  There are better treatments for this disease – we need consideration for the pharmaceutical companies profit margin to be taken out of the equation – medicine should be about treating people, not just about treating the “disease” or making money.  There is a cure for our diseases out there – they just need the resources to find it.

What can one person do?  Well, I guess we’re going to find out.