As the post name suggests – yesterday I started my third year as a diagnosed Crohn’s patient.

How  do I feel?  Alright – get ready….

I feel shit.  Yes, honestly, really shit.  But not so much because of the Crohn’s thing.  You see, right after my review last Thursday, I picked up a case of the flu from a co-worker.  Now… in the last 10 working days I have seen everyone around me at work have days off for everything from  a sore shoulder, to stress to “being tired”.  And here I am… sitting behind my desk chugging 10 different sorts of dangerous medication, staying at work… bitterly ill.  Let me just red line that “bitterly” because thats exactly what I am. Bitter.

I am the “sickest” person in the building and I am the most taken advantage of.  So now, the stupid immunosuppresed Crohn’s girl has a pretty serious chest infection, but has to go back into work this week because (and I quote) “no one’s here to help you or do your job – you have a day off, YOU pay for it”.   I seriously wanted to say: “ease up Buddie – usually I get taken out to dinner before I get f**ked” but restrained myself.

This bites.

Why the hell do all the “pretty” people get such good care taken of them and I’m left to rot?  I am so over this, so over this I can barely type.  This is the third weekend in a row that I haven’t had due to being sick and I am getting just a tad angry with that….  I give that place so much – now I’m giving them all my spare time as well – what the hell am I doing?  I haven’t been able to go out and do anything fun in almost a month because I am pouring all of myself into a place where I’m not appreciated?  THIS is why I need an extra week off after my surgery – to get my f**king head read!  No literally – I need to get some of these issues of going above and beyond sorted out… I need someone to sit me down, shake me and make me realise that I need to be taking care of myself first before everyone else… PARTICULARLY my FTJ.

I have a lot more to write but my eyes are a bit blurry and I am shaking I’m so angry…..