I have had quite a bit of time for reflection over the last few days.  As well as busting out some artwork, reflection time was what I was looking for.  On the 28th (in 3 days time) last year I received my official diagnosis.  Not the one on the table while you are still whacked from the anesthetic.  The proper, doctors office, serious face, diagnosis.  I also celebrate the start of my disease management plan – which has changed 6 times and is still proving to be mostly fruitless.

I think… people expect me to be able to answer a lot of questions about my future… but I still can’t, even if I could, I doubt they would be answers people would want to hear – and thats fine.  There are somethings that they say to me that I could really do without as well:

1 ) Are you sure you have Crohn’s Disease?

Yep.  Pretty sure.  The 3 Gastro specailists I have had so far are also pretty sure.  I think we are all fairly certain that I indeed do have Crohn’s Disease.

2 ) Have you tried not having Crohn’s Disease?

Yes.  Every morning I try to imagine that it was actually a truck that ran over me – rather than my poor iron levels and the immunosuppressants.  I also like to stroll around daydreaming that I can go eat a big pot of Frijole dip and not end up hospital.

3 ) So… when will you get better?

Never… and not that doesn’t mean in a few weeks.  No, surgery won’t fix it and no, I don’t think eating <insert disgusting natural remedy>  is going to help my bowel condition.

4 ) Have you tried the <insert weird diet name here>?

Crohn’s Disease means I have uncontrollable bouts of diarrhea… not sure only eating Peaches for a month (example) is going to help there… but thanks for your input – I’ll discuss it with my doctor (I won’t – because he will laugh at me).

5 ) Have you heard of <insert treatment name>?  Maybe you should try that?

I have – I started taking <treatment name> when I found out I was ill… It gave me migraines so bad I ended up trying to scratch my eyeballs out to make the pain stop…

6 ) Wouldn’t you rather the headaches?

No.  To be honest with you I would rather have neither the migraines or the Crohn’s Disease… I realise that makes me sound greedy.

7 ) I know!  People don’t want to talk to you about Crohnens Disease, because they are sick of hearing about it!

Okay.  First it’s Crohn’s Disease… and that proves that I haven’t really taken the time to impinge your quality of life with my annoying details of my  illness (which you still can’t spell or say a year on).  Please continue being ignorant… it suits you.

8 ) I have had sinus (or other equally as trivial medical condition) all week and you don’t hear me complining!

Wow – you are so right… What was I thinking all this time!  When I think about the week you have had with sinus – where you didn’t even go to the doctor and the forever I will have Crohn’s disease it really puts things in perspective.  Thank you for enlightening me.

9 ) Oh My God.  I have been sick for-ev-er with this cold.  It sucks to be just constantly sick with something like this.  You know?

Yep.  I feel for you. Poor thing.  Here’s a lemsip.  Don’t drown in it.

10 ) You are so lucky its Crohn’s and not Cancer.

That is the one I won’t be sarcastic to.  Cancer has taken someone very special to me – and its not a joke.  But nor is Crohn’s or any other chronic illness.  There is no luck in getting anything deadly or incurable.  I feel for all those who have, have had or have family/friends with Cancer… but chronically ill people don’t feel lucky – nor should they have to.  So please – don’t say it – because being sick with anything this life changing isn’t a competition – it all just pretty much bites.