Playing to my strengths

I figured out a way to commit my wayward partner to sticking out his work situation – briery and coercion.  No, I am certainly not above it.  I am a marketer – I do it for a living and not to toot my own horn, I am pretty good at it.

I branstormed after Tuesday – “how can I force my partner to stay working where he is until he has another job”.  It dawned on me.  Snowboard boots.  He now has a pair and may I just say he loves them a little bit more than me and their relatinship is only days old.  Yeah – wait till they make him fall on his face.

That was the ultimatum.  You get boots and we are totally committed – financially and otherwise.  The question is how bad did he want them…. the answer was, more than oxygen.  So for a $450 outlay – we have till our holidays to find him meaningful employment.  Not a bad investment, and paid for exclusivly by my freelance artwork business… I actually sat back after that and realised that I am getting somewhere with my freelance venture.  That was a positive way to reduce my stress levels.

Today I am a bit reflective.  You see tomorrow marks 1 year since I embarked upon my diagnosis journey.  1 year ago I placed myself on the road to finding out I have Crohn’s Disease.  My doctor said to me that I couldn’t possibly have anything serious – I wasn’t in enough pain… Haha – he was (and I would wager still is) such an ignorant dick-brain.  I am debating with myself whether I want to write a letter to him – telling him what he put me through.  Then – I keep coming back to “will he really care” and I would say not.  Him not caring about me and taking adequate histories is what got me into this mess to start with – I doubt very much a letter will pull on that one strand of compassion everyone has and make him own up to what he up me through.

I am still getting asked if I am happier knowing… and I still can’t answer with any certainty.  Some people hold that against me – but let me put it this way.  Until April 28th last year I wasn’t chronically ill – I just got sick every so often.  I didn’t need to be educated about corticosteriods, immunosuppressants and PBS subsidies.  I was blissfully ignorant – but getting sicker by the day.  I cast my mind back there and after a flare up I always felt fantastic for 3 weeks until the cycle started again… now – I rarely feel good.  Its either the disease or the side effects from the treatment.  I yearn for a few good days in a row.  I mean remission was good and all – and I am plugging to get back there BUT I still didn’t feel well most of the time.  I think thats a big misconception – people hear “remission” and they think healthy and well.  Where – remission when used in conjunction with IBD simply means no flare-ups and using the bathroom less than 10 times a day (no really thats the criteria).

Anyway – the next few weeks are going to be very thoughtful for me as I approach closing out my first year as a Crohn’s sufferer.

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