Things seemed to be going well for a change – I should have known that the next kick in the guts was just around the corner.

The last few days I have been getting that feeling… that precursor to a kick arse flare.  You know the one, where you feel bloated, tired and just generally nasty?  That one.  Well, it got pretty bad yesterday so I took myself home from our Melbourne Cup (the largest and most well known horse race in Australia) function early.  I got home at about 4:30pm and slept till about 7pm.  That’s pretty unusual for me, generally I am into my graphic work at that stage.  Anyway, I got up feeling pretty groggy but managed to get on with things.

Today was the worst day I have had at work for about 3 years.  I obvoiously can’t go into details because its not professional… I am asking myself in my current predicament what the hell professionalism matters.  But no.  I am bigger than that.  In this situation I am the bigger person.  I find that its always up to me to tow the line.

This has quite literally been the year from hell – today was the last thing I needed.  I had been feeling better – but now I am afraid that the new barrage of stress this has created in my life will turn my health sour once again.

Do they even care about my position in life?  Do they care that I am sick?  Or have they really moved to the big business mentality where all that matters is what you can do for them and how you can improve the bottom line.

I never though i would hear myself saying this – but I think I was wrong thinking that they cared about what happens to me.  I think I was naive to ever think they did.